Breaking point and departures.

24Feb,Whilst I was packing, the taxi arrived to take us to the bus station in Recife, but turns out that it might be cheaper to take the taxi between the four of us rather than the bus. It was decided to take the taxi, so we all bundled in, bags and all for the 5hour ride. Brilliant!!We arrived around lunch time in Praia de Pipa. Bit of an out of the way beach resort. I liked it though. There was a good stretch of beach and it was a nice up market yet not uncool village. There are a lot of little arty shops and a very laid back vibe. And nice restaurants. That evening Aarty met some South African friends she knew from travelling and Caitlin, Alex and I went in search but we walked at least 3 times up and down the street for a bar. None seemed to satisfy. I didn’t mind some bars but apparently they were too western. We ended up in this restaurant/bar with an ok singer/guitarist but it was putting me to sleep and the others weren’t exactly stimulated by it either. So we left and went to one of the western bars. I was very tired and so conversation was difficult. I found myself going quieter and quieter, til I had nothing to say. I´m getting a strange vibe from Caitlin, which is making me uncomfortable as if my thoughts are being dismissed. I also really got annoyed at this idea that to hang out in a western bar was so awful or indeed with hanging out with other backpackers. It would have been nice to find a more Brazilian bar but we didn´t so I just wanted to make the most of what was available. I just got a little irritated at the critical vibe. When Aarty and her friends returned, I joined a few of them on the dancefloor. So when the South African girls left it, I just remained dancing. This worked out brilliantly, as I met these Brazilian girls, one of which had lived in London for 5 years, 3 of which was spent with an Irish boyfriend. The music was fab and this Brazilian was this mad, vivacious, brilliant dancer. She, her friend and another girl had so much positive energy. I found myself coming to life and being energised by their company and their lack of pretentions. Aarty came up to tell me that she and all the others were heading to find another bar. I said I would come later, as I was enjoying myself with the Brazilians.
About 2am I left to find the others which had by now disappeared. I thought they might have gone back to the Pousada but they hadn´t, I thought about going back to the Brazilians but being the lazy sod I am I choose to sleep in a swinging chair on the verandah, until Alex and Aarty returned rather inebriated at 3.30 am.
25-27Feb
Went to the Praia dos Golfinhos. The beach was quite impressive and hardly anyone there. I looked for dolphins but none to be seen. However, I met people who said they found them there everyday. Bummer. I really would love to have swam in the water with the dolphins but such is life. Went to Praia do Amor in the evening. I discovered I must have ate something bad so went home to get familiar with the toilet again. The next day I stayed close to the pousada for obvious reasons. But it seemed to have sorted itself out quite quickly. That evening we got the bus to Natal. We booked into this mad hostel. Built like a castle with a fake moat to add to the scene. All the rooms had names of historical characters and were made of heavy wood with iron handles etc. All very kitch but good fun. We did a bit of a walk around Natal and finally found a restaurant that was both open and catered for all our needs.
So far Natal looks pretty enough. We booked the buggy tour for tomorrow. With emotion. Well this means you go around sand dunes and get the shit frightened out of you and you pay for the pleasure. I wanted to go but again, I seem to be going really quiet. I seem totally without energy. I am not sure why but I feel increasingly alienated. What ever vibe I am getting it is draining me. I´m trying to analyse it but. I guess some of it is, I am always seem to be in the wrong place when decisions are made by the group or am around but don’t feel part of the group. Some of this is because I feel a bit spaced and tired. but am also getting tired of being told we are doing this or that and do I want to come along as opposed to being there when decisions are made. There is a group of 3 and me.
When the time came to go on the buggy next morning. I finally made my decision.
I had had enough and thought what am I doing, I always stay and don’t leave and put up with situations I don’t like, just to be polite. So I announced in our room that I was heading to Forteleza on the first bus that would take me and not going on the buggy tour. I thougth, there was nothing worse then spending a day doing something wonderful and hating it because you are not with the right people or in the right frame of mind. I think they were relieved. I was. I think Alex was a bit surprised not sure. He didn’t say anything. But he had already decided with the others to stay a few days at various beaches near Natal and I just wanted to get to Jericoacoara. I know it is weird but I had this strong feeling to just get there and I would feel better. I just wanted to chill and stay on a beach for a week or 2. It has been a long time since I just rested and did nothing. I think I have been with people 24 hours a day for nearly 2 years. I can probably count on one hand how may days I have had where I was alone. I need some space… I NEED TO BE ALONE. OK enough of the Greta Garbo impressions.
28 Feb
So I headed off to Fortelezza. I wasn’t terribly impressed on arrival and the street of the hostel was off-putting to say the least. But the hostel was ok. The lady who owned it was called Giselle and was 3months pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. She told me where the restaurants were and then told me to take off my watch and to be really careful. I thought great. I was in no mood to be mugged and knowing my luck it would happen tonight. So I had some leftover crisps and nuts and went to bed. Oh bliss bed before 10pm; The luxury.
29 Feb.
Got a taxi to the bus station and finally found the platform etc. for Jericoacoara. Strangely enough I felt elated to be alone. I was on my way. After a few hours we stopped for lunch. This older gentleman who had heard me speak earlier told me that we had a lunch stop and had 20min. That was kind of him. Normally I have no clue. I ate heartily as was starving. The older gentleman turned out to be from Rome, called Franchesco and 70 years of age. He had lived in Cork my university town for a summer among many other places. He had been a merchant seaman then captain for 30 years before teaching American and English Literature in a Roman university. A fascinating chap, but I have a feeling he is a typical Italian and his interest in me, may not be completely platonic.